Control
by SilverCrystal029
Summary: Logan pleads to Rogue to talk to Kitty when she stops eating. Post series. Jean and the professor are dead, Scott's abandoned the X-Men. one shot


He found her where he thought he would, on the mansion's roof. She was sitting there staring at the sunset, trying to decide where blue turned to orange. And where orange faded to a purple-ish pink. And then, back to blue. She didn't acknowledge Logan's climb up the school's roof. She just sat there for a while longer, clinging to the silence.

"Yo," He called, his hands jammed uncomfortably in his leather jacket pockets. The wind rustled between them as she watched the skyline, trying to catch the sun in the act of setting.

"Hey," She said, her voice h_o_arse.

_Jean was dead. The professor was Dead. Scott had left. Some mutants had changed sides on both teams. _

It was like her voice went hoarse from crying and never went back to normal. That made a lot of sense to the older mutant as he crept closer. She still hadn't looked at him. She was getting so strong these days. He was sure she knew what he wanted before he'd even ask, her body perfectly still as her back was to him.

"I don't want to join the group of people asking you things..." He started, his voice sounding guilty. His tone worried Rogue and he turned to face him, a tired look on her face.

"Logan. What's wrong?" He closed the space between them and looked down at her. She still wore too much makeup but over time her lips got a little lighter, and her hair got a little longer. She was starting to part it over to the left, her ends grazing past her shoulders. He brushed some hair out of her face.

"It's Katherine." The use of her real name shocked her. He never called her by her real name unless he was upset. Or worried. Rogue thought about her roommate and realized how little time she'd spent in her room as of late. It reminded her too much of better times. She looked down, feeling guilty she hadn't noticed sooner that something was wrong. Truth be told, something was wrong with all of them.

"She won't eat." He bit out, avoiding her green eyes. Jean was dead. She'd killed Gambit and Todd when the Phoenix manifested. That caused Wanda to go into a beserker rage herself, and the end result of their battle was not pretty. It was Logan's claws that finally silenced her, and some students had not forgiven Logan for that. '_Kinslayer._' The look that was in some new recruits' eyes when he walked by.

Remy had thrown himself in front of Rogue without a second thought. The Phoenix had gone for her first, knowing she was the only one capable of stopping her reign of terror. He had jumped in front and blocked Rogue with his staff, black and red eyes glaring at her.

_"REMY. DON'T," She screamed at him as Jean cackled, her voice replaced by something else. _

_She gutted him with ease. He sank to his feet in front of Rogue, smiling at her the whole way. "J'taime-" Logan pulled Rogue back, knowing the next person Jean went after would be her. _

_"Red," He grunted with tears in his eyes. "Stop this." _

Rogue pulled herself back from the memory and stared at him. Sometimes she felt like she had too many emotions to live through, the pain of the collective consciousness in her mind feeling too great. Others, she felt nothing because she simply _couldn't_. Her team, the students, the teachers. They were all counting on her.

She sighed, knowing Kitty couldn't afford to go long without eating. "It's been about three days. I have nothing else to say. Nothing _nice_, anyways." He sighed in frustration, wishing he could string words together worth a damn. All his time on earth hadn't made him any better at it. Rogue nodded, her eyes drifting back to the skyline. The sunset was almost finished. "I'm sorry for interrupting you. You do this every day, I know it's calming for you..." She attempted to smile at him but failed since it'd been a long time since she tried.

She was even more withdrawn now than she was a few years ago when she was in high school. It was worrying him now because it was no longer the defense mechanism of a scared little girl, this was a woman working her hardest to hang on. Some days she didn't even speak to anybody. He waited anxiously to hear her voice, even if she refused to get involved.

"Lance has gone to Genosha with Magneto." She said distantly. "He doesn't intend on coming back." She finished. Logan nodded in understanding. '_As if things haven't been hard enough for everyone.'_ He thought.

"That makes a lot of sense." He said. Another breeze blew past them.

"I'll try and talk to her." Rogue said finally. "But I haven't been there like I should, so-" Logan held up a hand.

"I'm not gonna listen to you self deprecate." He barked. "You've been here for this school and for Charles' dream." He said, his voice softening. "Ya can't expect yourself to do it all, darlin'." He said with a sad smile. Rogue smiled, dropping through the ceiling with ease and phasing into her and Kitty's room. Logan stood on the roof until it grew dark and tried to tell himself that Rogue was going to be okay.

Kitty sat in their room looking out the window. She looked small, and she had always looked small. She needed a good meal, her small clothes hanging off of her. She had cut her hair recently to just above her shoulders. It made her look even smaller than she was getting. Rogue frowned.

"Kitty." She said. Kitty sniffed and kept staring out the window.

"Don't you ever knock?" She snapped without looking at her. Rogue rolled her eyes.

"It's my room too." She drawled, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Could've fooled me!" Kitty cried, facing her with bloodshot blue eyes. Rogue wasn't moved by her tears, yet. "You're never in here anymore." She accused. Rogue's shoulders sagged a little.

"I'm sorry." She said after a moment. Kitty's gaze dropped to the floor. She huffed in frustration.

"No, I am. It's not like you haven't been busy since Scott's left," She cut herself off, looking at the fearful look in Rogue's eyes. She didn't talk about Scott. Or Jean. Or the professor. Or Remy. Kitty felt guilty immediately after burning under her stare. "I'm sorry." She squeaked out, her eyes watering again. Rogue chose not to officially acknowledge it.

"Kitty," She cut in. "You need to eat. You look like shit." Kitty was silent for a long moment. "Kitty-"

"I'm not hungry." She answered, tired of saying that. Rogue crossed the space between them with a scowl.

"Kitty, I'm not doing this," She said, tugging on her arm. "I don't think any of us have been hungry for the better part of this year. But you don't see us," Kitty rose and shoved weakly at her with a frustrated yell. She didn't move her but Rogue still stared down at her in disbelief.

"I don't have to do anything, Rogue! Especially not because _you_ told me to!" She grabbed on Kitty's shockingly small wrist and glared at her.

"You think I won't go to Hank myself and have him put a feeding tube in your throat,_ Katherine_?" Rogue snarled at her, her tone making Kitty believe what she said.

"I'll never forgive you!" She screamed at her, batting at her weakly with her free wrist. Rogue launched her first through the wall beside Kitty with a roar.

"I don't need your fucking forgiveness, Kitty." She cried out. "I need you to _survive!_ Do ya get that!?" Kitty watched as Rogue broke down into sobs, for the first time since they had banded together and fought Apocalypse. Kitty just watched as Rogue hunched over in sobs. She hadn't cried when Jean died (even though a screaming, raging Jean now permanently lived in her head), she didn't cry when the professor died, and she didn't cry when Scott left. Rogue went into seclusion after Remy sacrificed himself for her but Kitty didn't think she cried then, either.

"Why..." She muttered as Rogue was wracked with sobs. "Why are you crying now..." She said, her face twisting up.

"Because, damn it!" She wiped at her face with the back of sleeve. "You don't have to die." She looked into the younger girl's blue eyes. "Your hunger strike isn't gonna bring Lance back. Or the professor. Or Scott. Or Jean..." She said, her lip quivering. Kitty looked at the ground.

"It brought you back." She said quietly, avoiding her eyes.

"Kitty..."

"I just want everything back the way it was! I can't help it, Rogue. I took it all for-granted and now it'll never come back! What do we do?!" Rogue looked down at Kitty. Her guess was as good as her own.

"I don't know." She admitted finally. Helplessly. "But what _you_ need to do is eat. We're all hurting enough." She looked pleadingly into Kitty's eyes. "Hurting yourself isn't doing anything, and trust me, I know all about that." Kitty settled back down in a chair, sighing.

"It just felt like the only thing I could control." She continued finally, her face blank. "When Jean lost control I was weak. I could save myself but I couldn't do anything else about it. I couldn't fight her." She admitted quietly.

"Kitty, don't." Rogue interrupted.

"I couldn't convince Scott to stay after the professor died. Or half the new mutants from following Magneto to Genosha. I can't do anything! I can't _change_ anything. I can't control anything." She sighed. "Except what I eat."

Rogue sat hesitantly on her bed. "Believe me, I understand exactly what you feel." Kitty suddenly felt stupid for going on and on about control to a mutant who had none over her own ability. Maybe she was just delirious from not eating. It made a lot of sense at first, but now she was so tired she didn't remember what she was even doing it for. Attention? Maybe. She'd knew she'd been driving Logan wild.

Rogue was the oldest non administrative mutant left at the institute now who'd been there the longest. Hank and Ororo couldn't leave the kids with more and more mutants applying every day. Logan didn't have the temperament to be the acting leader of the X-Men so somehow it became Rogue. He became her hand, accompanying her almost everywhere and giving her unbiased advice.

It was working, for now. But the strain of not having a chance to deal with any of their losses (mutant registration, mutant experimentation, The Friends Of Humanity, another mutant school in Boston...) was wearing on the whole team. Logan was most scared of Rogue being pushed past her breaking point. Kitty missed his strong, protective, paternal energy in her life. '_I feel like such a bitch...'_ She thought. '_Upsetting everyone, was this all because I subconsciously felt like nobody was paying attention? Rogue watched the love of her life die and if I really loved Lance I'd be in Genosha or he'd be here.' _

"Rogue, I'm so sorry for being selfish." The white haired mutant shook her head.

"No, Kitty. You're not being selfish. Whatever you're going through just remember," She looked at her seriously. "_We're all going through it together._" Kitty threw herself against the older mutant with a sob.

"I'll eat, I'm sorry." Rogue flicked at her eye with a smile.

"You better. Cause it was Logan who was going to feeding tube you if I didn't intervene." They both shared a laughed.

"I am sorry for acting this way. Thank you." Rogue nuzzled her hair affectionately.

"How many times did you have to do that for me when I was younger?" She wondered, reflecting wistfully on simpler days of high school drama.

"All the time." She answered when a knock came at her door. She opened it hesitantly to see Piotr standing there nervously, a basket wrapped in a cloth in his hands.

"Keety," He began, his hands trembling. "You have grown quite small since Piotr's arrival." He said, his Russian accent strong. "Please accept Piotr's offering of _Pirozhki_." He pushed the basket to Kitty. "It is Russian delicacy, mother's favorite." He explained with a small smile. Kitty looked up at the huge man and took the basket.

"Wow, Piotr. They smell amazing. I don't know what to say."

"They brought small Katherine a smile." He commented, pointing. "I haven't seen you smile lately. May my Pirozhki bring you more smiles."

"Thank you." Kitty said, the smile hanging off her face. Rogue was backing away slowly, trying not to ruin the nice moment. She phased into another room and Piotr and Kitty had already forgotten that she'd been there.


End file.
